[why i hate linkin park: a rant]

During the last few minutes of my commute home from work, I got lost in my own thoughts and zoned out the song that was playing on the radio. When I finally zoned back in, I heard the tail end of a Linkin Park song.

Shit! I thought. Why did I just waste the last three minutes listening to this damn song?

Those who know me know that I dislike Linkin Park. But it goes deeper than that. I have a seething hatred of Linkin Park running through my blood that is so red-hot, you could boil water on my body.

Prepare yourself - Prepare yourself a rant is coming

I hate Linkin Park in the same way the collective public hates Nickelback. I think the music sucks, and for some reason, every radio station in America (including satellite radio) just luuuvs to play them all the live-long day, every single effing day. But what really fuels my hatred, what really baffles my mind, is that I seem to be the only one who feels this way. Because everybody I’ve talked to fucking LOVES them some Linkin Park.



Jackie-chan-meme



Why? WHYYY?! I get the hating on Nickelback. I do. Approximately 97.3% of musicians are audibly better than them, yet they get more play than a high school cheerleader with low self-esteem. BUT THE SAME EXACT THING APPLIES TO LINKIN PARK, YET PEOPLE TURN A DEAF EAR. The hell, America?

How much does Linkin Park suck? Let me count the ways:

1. All of their songs sound the same. Yes, they do. DON’T ARGUE WITH ME. For instance, check out this song:

Now check out this exact same this completely different song:

With the exception of the beginning first notes and the rapping, it’s pretty much the same song. In fact, all of the Linkin Park songs I’ve ever heard just blend in to each other because there’s no variety. Having a signature sound is one thing; being too effing lazy to switch up the formula (hello, Nickelback!) is quite another. Even Britney Spears switches it up from time to time (Exhibit A & Exhibit B). No excuse, Linkin Park. No excuse.

 

2. Their lyrics are abysmal. Here’s a lyric sample from “Far Away” by Nickelback:

This time, this place

Misused, mistakes

Too long, too late

Who was I to make you wait?

Just one chance, just one breath

Just in case there’s just one left

‘Cause you know

You know, you know

And here’s a lyric sample from “What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park:

What I’ve done

I’ll face myself

To cross out what I’ve become

Erase myself

And let go of what I’ve done

Both songs have the highest popularity rating on MetroLyrics, and neither one is exactly poetry. But you know what? Nickelback’s sampling, even though it’s not great, is STILL better than Linkin Park’s. Yeah, I said it. Whatchu gonna do about it, Bub?

“OMG, where did you get your lyrical inspiration? Whitman? Frost? Browning? Wait-WHAT?! YOU WROTE THEM ALL BY YOURSELF?! Someone call the Nobel Prize people and demand they add a category for pop songs because we have a winner right here!” said no one of a Linkin Park song ever.

 

3. Linkin Park Singer’s (LPS) voice is whiny and annoying. I’m not even bothering to Google the dude’s actual name, that’s how much I hate this band, and his stupid voice. Every time I hear LPS sing, I want to give myself a root canal with an unsterilized power drill. With every note he sings comes the urge to jab hot needles in my ears hard enough to make myself deaf just so I won’t have to listen anymore.  Every time he opens his stupid mouth, I just want to shove my hand down his throat and rip out his vocal chords just so he won’t make that damn noise anymore. You following me here?

The last two bands I hated with a such a venomous rage were Creed and Destiny’s Child, but, luckily, they broke up. Linkin Park, however, stubbornly remains together. And America loves the shit out them. Don’t get it twisted, I’ve loved me some crappy music in my lifetime. But unlike my country, I own up to the fact that some of the music I like is bad. Why the USA can’t do that with Linkin Park boggles my damn mind.

ADMIT IT, AMERICA. LINKIN PARK SUCKS HARDER THAN A DYSON.

 

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18 Responses to "[why i hate linkin park: a rant]"

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  1. Jina

    March 12, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    I’m sorry the song made you rage, but this post is hilarious. And, I completely agree! I can’t stand Linkin Park (or Nickelback or Creed) either.

    Reply
    • sarahvb2

      March 12, 2013 at 10:19 pm

      Jina, you sound like my kind of people. At the end of the day, all I really want is for Linkin Park to elicit the same kind of hatred Nickelback does.

      Reply
      • Zoe

        August 13, 2014 at 1:45 pm

        The fact that you don’t understand what they have been through makes me want to pull YOUR vocal cords out so you can’t rant about dumb shit. Linkin Park has inspirational lyrics, and Chester Bennington, the lead singer, has a unique sound that amazes me. They have explored a new genre that is interesting and sounds great. If they suck so bad, tell me why you bother listening to there lyrics enough to quote them? Huh? There lyrics have meaning and purpose. What I’ve done is about what we’ve done to the world, how we have made mistakes, and how he wants to fix them all. The whole band has a great sound, and is cooperative enough to stay together. So u can take your rant back with you to the rock your living under and try to understand and comprehend the complexity of Linkin Park.

        Reply
        • sarahvb2

          August 13, 2014 at 3:20 pm

          Oh no, I’ve angered another Linkin Park fan!

          I actually haven’t “been listening to their lyrics enough to quote them,” as I either tune out or switch stations whenever one of their songs comes on, because I just can’t. Don’t like the sound, don’t like his voice, as I mentioned before. It annoys me. Like, I want to stick burning hot needles into my eyeballs whenever I hear a Linkin Park song. I Googled some of their lyrics to see what all the hype was about. Not impressed. So, yeah. I still maintain they suck. But you like them, and that’s cool, since you’re the one who’s voluntarily listening to them.

          Reply
        • Alessia Ravensage

          August 31, 2014 at 5:36 pm

          yessSSsSSSs!!

          Reply
        • shrikant

          September 30, 2014 at 10:08 am

          agree with you zoe

          Reply
  2. Olivia

    March 13, 2013 at 11:33 am

    I have no beef with Linkin Part. But man, I’m glad somebody else never liked Destiny’s Child! Creed sucks, too. (But not Creed Bratton.)

    And I’m just going to throw this out there: Rihanna kind of gets on my nerves. And Maroon 5.

    Reply
    • sarahvb2

      March 13, 2013 at 12:02 pm

      Yeah, while I do like some Rhianna and Maroon 5 songs, it only amounts to one or two from each new album. And then I start to hate those because they are so over-played. The few songs of Rhianna’s I’ve heard that have gotten either no or very little air play, I actually liked. I felt like they were more “real” than the “Disturbias” or “S&M”-type songs that get so played out, if that makes sense.

      I’m glad I found someone who didn’t like Destiny’s Child! The only song I legitimately liked by them was “Bills Bills Bills.” The rest of their music, specifically “Bootylicious” and “Independent Women” made me want to kill myself.

      And Creed Bratton is always awesome. ;-)

      Reply
  3. Crystal H

    March 13, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    HATE Creed, Nickelback and POD. I have gone back and forth with Linkin Park. I didn’t like them when they first came out, then they grew on me some, then I hated them again, then I was forced to listen to them a lot and started liking them again. Now I class them with bands like Green Day and Sublime that I don’t necessarily hate; I just can’t stand to listen to them. I change the channel if they come on. Their last cd really sucked balls…even more than the previous stuff.

    I still stand by what I said on Facebook yesterday…this is the best blog post I have ever read. I love how you compared their lyrics to Nickelback and they lost. Haha. Well argued Sarah. :)

    Reply
    • sarahvb2

      March 13, 2013 at 10:16 pm

      Yeah, I always change the channel when a Linkin Park song comes on, unless I’m zoned out, like yesterday. Glad you liked the post! I had to get all my rage out. :-) Also, thanks for liking my Facebook page!

      Reply
  4. Nichole C

    March 13, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Damn you, Sarah B! I used to love LP back in the day…I totally agree they’re overplayed, but I still love them from the ol’ days. Nickelback, I can get behind you 200%…Can we still be frands?! LOL

    Reply
    • sarahvb2

      March 14, 2013 at 8:56 am

      Hahaha we can still be friends! I’ll overlook this one thing. ;-)

      Reply
  5. Jackson

    December 11, 2013 at 7:11 am

    If you can send me a video of yourself producing better music than Linkin Park then I will agree with you. Would one of the reasons that you hate them so much be because they pull off rap/rock so well?

    Reply
    • sarahvb2

      December 11, 2013 at 7:26 am

      Alas, I cannot, so you got me there.Linkin Park wouldn’t bug me nearly as much if radio stations didn’t over-play them and if their songs didn’t sound so similar. But I stand by my entry. I will, forever and always, hate their music with a passion.

      Reply
  6. LOVE LINKIN PARK

    December 18, 2013 at 1:10 am

    I FUCKING LOVE LINKIN PARK!!!!
    I never really liked rock music but when I listened to linkin park it changed everything. And ummm… You don’t want to do that to the lead singer because you don’t really know his personality. It’s okay with me that you don’t like linkin park and what you wrote does have a point. It didn’t changed my mind though ( as I’m typing this I’m listing to them). What do you?

    Reply
    • sarahvb2

      December 18, 2013 at 7:21 am

      That’s cool. I’m not trying to change anybody’s mind over this. People like what they like. I like a few bands (read:DMB) who are the punchlines of more than a few jokes. Different strokes for different folks.

      I still hate Linkin Park, though.

      Reply
    • shrikant

      September 30, 2014 at 10:06 am

      agree

      Reply
  7. shrikant

    September 30, 2014 at 10:04 am

    linkin park is best bend ever and there is no one who can sing like chester and mike’s rap is best

    Reply

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