[teen idol beat-down: james van der beek vs. zac efron]

 
Hey, everybody! What. Up. It’s Tuesday, which means it’s another Teen Idol Beat-Down. What is Teen Idol Beat-Down, you ask? Simple. It seeks to answer the question, “In a fictional fight between a teen idol of yesteryear and a teen idol of today, who would win?” The winner will be decided via poll, and to help you make an informed decision, I will be outlining the pros of each contender. Ain’t I nice? For tonight’s battle, I present:
 
James Van Der Beek vs. Zac Efron
 
Teen girls in the late nineties swooned when they caught sight of Van Der Beek as Dawson Leery, the insecure, sensitive, uber-goober protagonist of Dawson’s Creek. With the exstensive vocabulary only a home-schooler could pull off and a luxurious golden mane that shown gloriously in the sun, Van Der Beek made nerdy look cool and sexy. Zac Efron burst onto the scene in the High School Musical franchise, where he somehow made teen heartthrob status despite musical numbers like this:
 

Wait. Hold up. Is it just me, or does the “Bet On It” number kind of have the same vibe as this TOTALLY SERIOUS AND AWESOME AND NOT AT ALL LAME scene fromFootloose?

 

DON’T FIGHT THE MUSIC, REN. DANCE AWAY YOUR PAIN. Oops. Sorry. I lost myself there for a moment. Anyway, who would win: James Van Der Beek or Zac Efron?
 
James Van Der Beek: Pros
-self-deprecating sense of humor
 
Zac Efron: Pros
-He can sing, act, and dance (subjective, but whatevs)–triple threat!
-He beefed up for this movie. If anything, it looks like he could beat someone’s ass.
 
 

 
Van Der Meme just ’cause:

[proof that filters can make crappy pictures look amazing]

The latest craze among those with smartphones are applications that apply vintage filters to pictures. The most popular is Instagram, but since I have a Droid, the application I downloaded is One Man With a Camera, which is similar. These apps are the best inventions ever because they can turn the crappiest of photos into works of art. Don’t believe me? Behold, I bring you my newest photo collection:Bored at Work. Taken in less than five minutes and with zero effort:

I call this one, “Work Space.”
“Glasses and Coffee.” Literally.
“Ruler, Paperclip, and Keyboard.” How is this photo speaking to you?
“Rings.” More than meets the eye?

I’m going to get so much use out of this app. Stay tuned for my next collection, entitled, Randomness: A Trip Around My Apartment (working title).

 

[puptials]

Sometimes, I get afraid I’m turning into one of those crazy dog owners. You know the type: the ones that insist their pups prefer a certain brand of dog food, who treat their dogs like they’re close, personal friends instead of a pet. I do tend to bring up Ava a lot in conversation, and she even has her own Twitter account. However, once in awhile, I will catch of glimpse of people who have truly gone off the deep end, which makes me look like I’m still paddling safely in the shallows. Like this:

 

That there is a dog wedding. People actually dress up Spot and Fido in a wedding dress and groom garb, and HAVE AN HONEST-TO-GOD WEDDING CEREMONY like it ain’t no thang. Like it’s completely normal for two dogs to get married and for the union to be valid. There was a TV special about this phenomenon a few weeks ago, and it said that people pay thousands for these types of ceremonies.
 
There’s so much I could write on this. So many jokes. So much snark. But it’s too easy. So I’ll just say that I no longer feel so wackadoo about my dog having her own Twitter account. 
 
America, you are ridiculous. Don’t go changin’.

[bay area eats: eats! american grill]

Last weekend, my parents were in town, and for Sunday lunch, I decided to try something new and take them to a restaurant we all hadn’t tried yet: EATS! American Grill. After reading favorable blog reviews as well as praising Yelp! reviews, I’d been wanting to check the place out for some time. I wasn’t disappointed (my parents loved it as well!).

We started off with the complimentary basket of Saratoga Potato Chips and dipping sauce and an order of fried pickles ($4.99). The pickles were piping hot (a sign that they were made fresh!), and the chips and dipping sauce were just a perfect complement. I don’t know exactly what the dipping sauce was comprised of, but it was very similar to the sauce that comes with Outback’s Bloomin’ Onion. 

Perusing through the menu’s variety of Americana fare, we settled on the Bin on Weck ($8.99–Pops’ choice), the French Dip ($8.99–Mom’s choice), and the Midwestern BLT ($8.79–my choice). That BLT was probably the best I’ve ever had. EATS! turned the simple sandwich on its head by making it with fried green tomatoes, peppered bacon, lettuce, its “Signature Spicy Sauce,” and slapping the whole thing between two pieces of Texas Toast. I had the choice between the regular Spicy Sauce and “full heat,” and opted for the regular (I don’t like terribly spicy foods). The regular sauce added just enough of a kick that I could appreciate without draining my water glass. Its flavors also enhanced the fried green tomatoes and peppered bacon really well. 

My parents’ sandwiches looked equally as delicious. I can’t really describe what they tasted like, as they weren’t my sandwiches (obvs), so descriptions from the menu (and your own imaginations) will have to suffice:

 Bin on Weck (Beef on Weck):

Buffalo’s other claim to fame. Brought to us by Michael Wuliger of Bin 27, this famous sandwich is thinly sliced roast beef served on a kummelweck roll and topped with our own Horsey Sauce. Au Jus served on the side. 

 

French Dip:

Born in 1918 in Los Angeles, CA. This classic is roast beef cooked and seasoned to perfection, topped with Swiss cheese and served with a side of Au Jus for dipping. 

Yummy. If the clean plates were any indication, I’d say they were received enthusiastically. 

EATS! lives up to its reputation as being a great go-to for American food. The staff is friendly and the atmosphere is casual (plenty of TVs for watching the big game and a full bar for those who want something a little stronger with their food), and you will feel right at home. It’s definitely a place I plan on visiting again; I’ve got my sights set on its fried Oreo sundae!

EATS! American Grill
4502 S. Dale Mabry Hwy.
Tampa, FL 33611
813-835-3287

Hours: 
Mon-Sun 11a.m.-10p.m.

[teen idol beat-down: hanson vs. the jonas brothers]

 
I might as well make this a Tuesday feature since apparently I just can’t bother to post on Mondays. ANYway, it’s a new week, which means it’s a new Teen Idol Beat-Down! The concept is simple: a teen idol from yesterday is pitted against a teen idol of today in a fictional fight. The winner will be decided via poll, and to help you make an informed decision, I will be presenting the advantages each contender has. This week we have…
 
Hanson vs. the Jonas Brothers

It’s 3-on3 this week, y’all! 3-man band Hanson vs. 3-man band the Jonas Brothers. Wow, that was an awkward sentence. It also had the number 3 a lot. Wait, did the spirit of a Sesame Street character momentarily overtake my body and try to make this post sponsored by the number 3? What’s happening here?
 
Oh. Right. You don’t give a flying fuck about Sesame Street or about how many 3s are in this post. Get back to the fight, yo! Well, alright. In 1997, Hanson bopped to the top of the charts with their hit, “Mmmbop.” I do believe everybody back then–even Hanson fans–pretended to loath the song, but as soon as they got home, they turned that shit up and danced their asses off. And really, can you blame them? IT’S A CATCHY SONG. 
 
 

I’m not even gonna lie, I have it downloaded to my iPod, and I jam out in my apartment. Along with, “Said I Loved You, But I Lied.” Sometimes you need a little Michael Bolton in your life. 

 

Anyway. Taylor was the undisputed cutie of the group, Issac was the beast, and everybody wanted to punch Zac in the face because he was so annoying. But together, they were loved. 
 
I think the Jonas Brothers came on the scene via Camp Rock, although don’t quote me on that. From my point of view, they just appeared out of nowhere. Along with a bunch of Camp Rock stuff. I don’t really know who is considered the cutie, the beast, or the annoying one in this trio, because I’m not in their target audience, and I’m too lazy to Google it. I just know one is named Nick, one is named Joe, I don’t know the other one’s name, one is married, and I guess one or all of them had or have purity rings. And they’re tight with Mickey and Minnie:
 
 
So with that extremely unhelpful information, who would win: Hanson or the Jonas Brothers?
 
Hanson: Pros
-There’s three of them, so together they could put up a decent fight.
-They rocked long hair and grunge wear. That’s pretty badass.
-Zac might have been irritating as hell, but homeslice looked to be scrappy. I’ll bet he could cut a bitch.
 
The Jonas Brothers: Pros
-There’s three of them, so together they could put up a decent fight.
-They have the support of Mickey, Minnie, their friends, and the ENTIRE DISNEY ENTERPRISE. Since Disney rules the universe, the Jonas Brothers have ready access to a host of ass-kicking resources. 
-They ALL look like they could cut a bitch if provoked. 
 
 

[social]